Friends Old and New

The art show opening behind us but the evening still young, Jeanie drives us to Roxy’s, a local restaurant and Irish watering hole.  As we approach the door, she encounters a rather slight fellow a few years our junior, and big greetings and introductions are exchanged.

“Where’s Donna?  Why don’t you go get her and we’ll have dinner together!” Jeanie asks. Jim hems a little and says, “You invite her,” as he dials a cellphone and thrusts it toward my friend.  Jeanie declines, pushing the phone back towards him, and I – being ever the smart-ass – seize the phone and say in my very sexiest voice, “Hi Donna.  I’m down here at Roxy’s with your husband.  Maybe you should come over and get him.”  Laughter all around, including from Donna, and Jim exits to go get her.

Our drinks arrive, and Jeanie becomes suddenly very serious.  “We might have to leave,” she says.  A bit stunned at this abrupt departure from what had seemed to be light-hearted fun, I ask why.  “You don’t know Donna.  Remember ***** (a very tall and ample woman I had met at the show opening)?  Donna is bigger than *****.  She weighs over 400 pounds and she has an AWFUL temper.”

I consider these new facts and tell Jeanie that Donna had laughed when I spoke with her on the phone, so I doubted very much that she could be upset.

“Judy, she’s bi-polar.”  “Um, okay,” I say and, trying to sound unconcerned, “I’ve had quite a bit of experience with someone bipolar.”  Inside I’m thinking HOLY SHIT, what have I done?!?!

I remark that I’m sure Jim wouldn’t bring her if she was furious, to which Jeanie replies that Donna “can turn on a dime.”  And at that moment, Jim appears around the corner of the wall behind me.  I know this because Jeanie glances upward and past me.  Not sure whether to duck or run. I whirl my head around and fix my gaze a foot or more above Jim’s head in anticipation of Godzilla.  But wait – who is this smiling 4’10” woman at his heels???!

“Gotcha!” grinned Jeanie, and after we stopped laughing, a fine dinner was had by all.

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